The me that I can't find

I guess this is where I get into the meat and potatoes of things.

I've been feeling lately like I've completely lost who I am. Mix that with this overwhelming feeling that I am going entirely insane and you can only imagine what waking up in the morning is like.

Now I know, it probably seems like I'm a big ole whine bag. I've been told to just shut up and suck it up and I pretty much just want to slap those people in the face. When everything is wonderful people want to bask in you. When things aren't quite so good, you get told everything will be okay and to suck it up and be thankful for what you have. Maybe I need to do just that. Maybe this blog is my way of weeding through all of the nonesense and finding the core things that I seem to have lost somewhere along the way.

Now don't get me wrong. I'm really not insane. I get up every morning and thank whatever powers may be for my children. I go to work and when I can, I create jewelry which I absolutely love to do. I cook dinner (most of the time anyways) and I do laundry and I kiss boo boos and I watch Grey's and Private Practice and I snuggle on the couch with E and at the end of the night I go to sleep. I'm VERY grateful for all of this.

But somewhere in the middle of all of this wonderful day to day life....where am I?

On a second random thought, I apologize for so many posts today. I honestly don't get a lot of time to just sit here and write, which is the one thing in this life that I miss the most. I'm off work today and while all of this is swirling around in my head, I actually have a chance to get some of it out.

I woke up one morning and blinked a few times and got hit in the back of the head with a brick that said "I'm 34 years old. I had dreams and things I wanted to accomplish. What happened?"

Don't get me wrong...I'm really not going to sit here and blame anyone else for this but me. I know that I make my own way and my own destiny and all of that wonderful philosophical stuff.....but it's just what happened one day.

I need to find a way back to me.....

Simply J