Not even sure where to begin

Tonight was bad...really bad. Not sure where to even begin or if I even want to write about it. My  heart is hurt as well as my feelings.

It's one thing to fight, but it's another to strike the very core of someone with the intention of doing harm. 

Maybe I'm just too soft. Maybe I have this misconstrued version of what having an argument is all about. Maybe people just strike out at the jugular as a defense mechanism. Maybe it just all sucks.

I'm tired of the meaness of it. I'm tired of not being able to argue without it being so hurtful you're not sure you can come back from it. 

I should be able to be annoyed. I should be able to have feelings without people thinking I'm just being a bitch.

Maybe I am just a bitch.

One thing I do know is something has to change. This is not life, this is just plain miserable. Merry Christmas.

I picked up a bottle of St. John's Wort tonight. Maybe that will help my mood. I used to take it as an alternative to prescription medicine when I was younger. I stopped taking it when I started birth control. Now, since there's no need for birth control I'm going to give it another go.

Here's to finding my inner peace and tranquility. At least that's what the bottle says.

Simply J